Falling Up: Thanksgiving, Gratitude, and the Dark Night Sky
Some people fear darkness, both the absence of light and the counter-cultural of topic, and by counter culture, I mean this in the broadest sense, the counter clockwise, left hand path, mute the commercials on TV sort of way. They fear it with an almost superstitious rigor, the way some people think that I wash my hands too much. The darkness brings with it the survival instinct. The thickness of light suggests blindness and helplessness. The counter cultural, on the one hand, in imbalance, is a sign of madness, of disarray, of discord, and thus a deviation from the sacred order, but on the other hand, it is what is hard to understand, difficult to appreciate, and complex to bear. It is no wonder that, for many, the symbolic mind’s tendency to suffer grows as the light dies. It’s called seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.), and I won’t pose as an expert here, but to the common man, it is when melancholy grows in proportion to the dimness of season and the shortening of days. Some people never get it, but plenty of people do even if but a little. That is why holidays of warmth and light are so important in the autumn and winter. To push the balancing force of the culture a bit more, I would say that festivities of gratitude are of the utmost importance.
Now, reminding people to have gratitude can often come off like a resentful mom scolding a mini-tyrant who dislikes dinner or like the disgruntled chiding of a service clerk who has dealt with one too many assholes and is getting pretty close to having a Falling Down moment (which I say jokingly but with a sigh). I’m not going to pretend that I don’t inhabit shadow archetypes similar to those at times nor should you. We all have days of disgruntlement. Rather, it’s because none of us are strangers to heart ache and suffering that I suggest the counter-intuitive medicine of thankfulness. This isn’t the point where I tell you to light a scented candle and take a moment to gratitude journal, but it wouldn’t hurt.
Rather, I’m going so far as to push true, genuine gratitude for our country on this day, Thanksgiving 2023, and all of the days to follow. No history is perfect, and with the sensationalized distortion of history that is so commonplace today, it is easy to see this holiday as some sort of horror story. While the real history isn’t the stuff of Heaven on earth, it isn’t a tale of genocide either, regardless of what the anarcho-communist intellectual circle has succeeded in convincing so many, and their reach is far wider and more effective than they get credit for. It’s mainstream and on your entertainment TV after all. No, the history of this land is a difficult history of illness, alliances, and semiotic gambling (throw in some murder and oppression in on all sides since it was never unique to one group), but it is also a history of sharing, growing, learning, and discovering love and compassion in unexpected places. It’s a history that resulted in a nation built on the highest ideals even if those ideals had a shaky start in the face of world custom and human nature.
That this country has made liberty, equality, and the pursuit of happiness its foundation is a powerful gift. Though it’s an imperfect world, I can worship as I see fit, read what I want, and communicate freely with whom I choose so long as I incite no violence or harm. I am free to work on myself to the extent of my volition and make the best of any situation I may have, even if it takes time and hard work. There isn’t some warlord coming through raping, enslaving, and murdering my family and friends. I don’t wake up fearing I will disappear for having an opinion. There are criminals, and tragedy can strike anywhere, but in this country, there is a demonstrated commitment to protecting the people in earnest. Sometimes there are fuck ups, but when considering all elements with a more objective eye, the people, the law, and the ideals are in harmony against cruelty and oppression. This is a cosmic gift really, that we can be here in this way whether by birth, inclination, chance, or circumstance. I also can’t help but feel grateful for our country’s bounty, the convenience of our infrastructure, and the collective will that works tirelessly and logically for the betterment of all.
Though afflicted by suffering, I wake up each morning, however tired, run down, and depressed I may be, and aim to think at least one thought of gratitude. I always succeed. Some days are more difficult than others. With a long history of depression and some serious life challenges, it can be tough. I know I am not alone in experiencing these types of emotional states. Some experience even worse. They may be trapped by their bodies or minds in some way and can not experience the good. Whatever suffering there is, however, does not negate the good. It doesn’t make the good less relevant and meaningful. For those who for some reason can not experience good and thus gratitude, they can at least find good in the fact that good exists. There is so much good to experience, so much love, understanding, patience, compassion, and beauty. That this good exists is something we should hold close to our hearts.
I once experienced pure, unexpected joy. It could have been for fifteen minutes or maybe longer. I didn’t have my watch, and I was out in nature. It came upon me effortlessly. I remember that just moments before I was having anxiety, and I had sat down with the intention to let go of the anxiety, of any false sense of control, and suddenly I felt a release. I felt much more expansive, like I was part of nature itself and that thus my body and its limitations were an illusion. I laughed because it seemed so ridiculous that I didn’t know that this universal harmony existed at all times. I couldn’t believe I was experiencing such peace, beauty, and belonging. Even as a child I had never so much as caught a glimmer of this harmonious and blissful joy. I once shared this story with a sad friend, trying to hearten him, explaining that I would trade all possible days with that one day and that all sorrows could be weathered because such joy exists, but what we discovered is that he didn’t realize a state like that existed. He felt a little better though simply because the thought of such happiness being experienced by someone he knew suggested that he too could experience it one day. The truth is that even though I vowed never to forget that such happiness existed and to be always grateful for it, I have forgotten many times about this secret fact of reality, much to my detriment.
No scented candle can bring us there, but having an open mind and realizing that no matter how unsurmountable our problems may seem, through gratitude, right thought, and personal spirituality, we can create good for ourselves and others. Today may be a good time to open up to gratitude. To reconsider the poisons of toxic propaganda, imbalanced empathy, and never ending desire and instead celebrate living in a society committed to good. See not the darkness of the sky as a vulnerability but as a gift, a natural shift for nurturing connection within the good boundaries of the walls of our homes and shelters, warmth from the storm, protection from the evil eye, some doors open to those we love and some to those we help.
May you have a peaceful, warm Thanksgiving on this day.
